The Ships I Didn’t Board: “Oh God, why didn’t You rescue me?”

I know what I want out of life. Every day I tell myself, “Tomorrow, things will change.” But the truth is, I haven’t taken a single step toward that change.

My goal? To live by divine wisdom.

The oldest books carry this wisdom. It makes no sense for me to try and reinvent the wheel — yet I struggle. I live in an environment that constantly conflicts with these values. And when you live in conflict long enough, the environment begins to shape you.

⚓ Life on the Ship

It’s like being on a ship. The sailors have already set their course. Trying to steer them elsewhere feels like madness.

Can you imagine saying, “We’re changing course,” only to hear, “Go f*** off”?

So, you stay quiet… pretending you’re the captain.

This metaphor isn’t just poetic. The ship and sailors? That’s my home. That’s my children. Trying to move a whole household in a new direction feels impossible.

And yet, every du’a I make is for exactly that — to sail toward the unconventional. To live a life aligned with something higher than modern noise.

🧭 The Signs Begin

But why am I writing this?

It started with my son. He couldn’t conform to the rules at school — and deep down, I understood him. Because he’s me. A younger version of the same storm.

The first wake-up call came when I discovered a policy at his school. On the surface, it was a “non-faith” institution. But its mission and daily routine quietly pushed a hidden agenda of indoctrination — one that didn’t quite align with my beliefs.

I was shocked to discover my suspicions were true. There, in black and white, their policies spelled out their aim to “indoctrinate.”

I don’t mind faith-based schools — but why hide it from the public? Well, I’ll leave you to your thoughts…

That was sign #1.

🚑 Then Came the Nurse

I was meant to see her for 10 minutes in A&E.

Instead, she shared her own story — of changing the course of her own ship, just as I hoped to do with mine.

She was deeply inspirational and refreshingly different from the usual rhetoric. She was as unconventional as they come — even when it came to her views on modern medicine.

That was sign #2.

🥥 The Coconut Boy

Then I met a 16-year-old boy who had dropped out of school at 13. He was selling coconut drinks on the streets — no textbooks, no desks in sight.

But he shared with me his thoughts on public education — and how he was already running four businesses at just 16 years old.

He didn’t follow society’s rules. And yet, he was thriving.

That was sign #3.

🧱 The Builder

Then I met the talented builder. He had moved from the US, then to Jordan, and eventually to the UK — where we met. He moved quite freely, like a bird.

He didn’t have a large chunk of savings, but his currency was skill. Or shall I say… gold fingers?

No school is going to tell you these truths. I doubt the teachers who teach in them even have the time to realize them.

💔 The Moment That Broke Me Open

Finally came the moment that broke me open.

I was homeschooling my son — the one who “doesn’t conform.” I gave him a writing assignment.

He ignored it.

Instead, he wrote a joke:

There was a man drowning at sea. He prayed to God for help.

First came a big ship. He refused it.

Then came another ship. He refused again.

Then came a helicopter. Still, he refused.

Later, when he drowned, he asked God, “Why didn’t You save me?”

God replied, “I sent you two ships and a helicopter, you dummy.”

And that’s when it hit me.

All my du’as…

Maybe the nurse, the boy, the school incident, the builder — and perhaps even this joke — maybe those were my ships.

And I was too blind to see them.

Maybe the help I was waiting for… already came.

Thanks for reading — stay unconventional.