The Ships I Didn’t Board: “Oh God, why didn’t You rescue me?”

I know what I want out of life. Every day I tell myself, “Tomorrow, things will change.” But the truth is, I haven’t taken a single step toward that change.

My goal? To live by divine wisdom.

The oldest books carry this wisdom. It makes no sense for me to try and reinvent the wheel — yet I struggle. I live in an environment that constantly conflicts with these values. And when you live in conflict long enough, the environment begins to shape you.

⚓ Life on the Ship

It’s like being on a ship. The sailors have already set their course. Trying to steer them elsewhere feels like madness.

Can you imagine saying, “We’re changing course,” only to hear, “Get lost!”?

So, you stay quiet… pretending you’re the captain.

This metaphor isn’t just poetic. The ship and sailors? That’s my home. That’s my children. Trying to move a whole household in a new direction feels impossible.

And yet, every du’a I make is for exactly that — to sail toward the unconventional. To live a life aligned with something higher than modern noise.

🧭 The Signs Begin

But why am I writing this?

It started with my son. He couldn’t conform to the rules at school — and deep down, I understood him. Because he’s me. A younger version of the same storm.

The first wake-up call came when I discovered a policy at his school. On the surface, it was a “non-faith” institution. But its mission and daily routine quietly pushed a hidden agenda of indoctrination — one that didn’t quite align with my beliefs.

I was shocked to discover my suspicions were true. There, in black and white, their policies spelled out their aim to “indoctrinate.”

I don’t mind faith-based schools — but why hide it from the public? Well, I’ll leave you to your thoughts…

That was sign #1.

🚑 Then Came the Nurse

I was meant to see her for 10 minutes in A&E.

Instead, she shared her own story — of changing the course of her own ship, just as I hoped to do with mine.

She was deeply inspirational and refreshingly different from the usual rhetoric. She was as unconventional as they come — even when it came to her views on modern medicine.

That was sign #2.

🥥 The Coconut Boy

Then I met a 16-year-old boy who had dropped out of school at 13. He was selling coconut drinks on the streets — no textbooks, no desks in sight.

But he shared with me his thoughts on public education — and how he was already running four businesses at just 16 years old.

He didn’t follow society’s rules. And yet, he was thriving.

That was sign #3.

🧱 The Builder

Then I met the talented builder. He had moved from the US, then to Jordan, and eventually to the UK — where we met. He moved quite freely, like a bird.

He didn’t have a large chunk of savings, but his currency was skill. Or shall I say… gold fingers?

No school is going to tell you these truths. I doubt the teachers who teach in them even have the time to realize them.

💔 The Moment That Broke Me Open

Finally came the moment that broke me open.

I was homeschooling my son — the one who “doesn’t conform.” I gave him a writing assignment.

He ignored it.

Instead, he wrote a joke:

There was a man drowning at sea. He prayed to God for help.

First came a big ship. He refused it.

Then came another ship. He refused again.

Then came a helicopter. Still, he refused.

Later, when he drowned, he asked God, “Why didn’t You save me?”

God replied, “I sent you two ships and a helicopter, you dummy.”

And that’s when it hit me.

All my du’as…

Maybe the nurse, the boy, the school incident, the builder — and perhaps even this joke — maybe those were my ships.

And I was too blind to see them.

Maybe the help I was waiting for… already came.

Thanks for reading — stay unconventional.